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footnote of intent

Does this armchair look big on me?

Does this armchair look big on me?

I’ve decided that I’ll end this year with a crisper political ideology, I have a stuck together, quasi intellectual thing that trials behind me, it can sound impressive depending on the amount of cocaine I haven’t done, but it’s time to elaborate on these sentiments. Not liking bullies and thieves, though noble, isn’t enough. I prefer to wank on neo-liberals and muddy crony capitalists. The idea of course is to join our grand political debate that’s continually unfolding, I’ve never taken anything extremely seriously and shall try my utmost to keep my stellar track record going. Column spaces everywhere, not to mention our beloved blogosphere, overflows with the uncharming tone of people who take themselves too seriously. I don’t want to join them, I might, but I don’t want to.

Cue scatology.

See also dick jokes.

Applying my mind to political problems is relatively new to me, people complain of armchair politicos, I look up to them, it feels like Í’m drowning in mine and look forward to throwing down some commentary with the other folk. I’ll probably piss half of you off, get things wrong and get my arse kicked, but the reality of this sphere is that it’s ours. If political commentary can’t be a colloquial affair we should stop paying for it, also it’s an operation run by a severely uneducated, but not stupid, man. Something I have quite a bit of experience with.


There are these things that happen in popular commentary; either abject wordy convolution (something I’ll most definitely do), strong subjectivity (something I’m doing right now) and poorly researched intuitive fumbles (my crowning characteristic). It’s not that I’m lazy or indifferent, I’m too apathetic for such taxing habits, the one leaves you in constant fear of being found out and the former ruins your confidence. These obvious shortcomings are something I’m willing to write off as style. I don’t care if it isn’t.


See, there’s a part of me that needs to believe my own bullshit, my opinions have to side, even if they do so covertly, with THE SOLUTION. I wrote it in caps because that’s how death is identified in Discworldography and to highlight this tedious attitude that I see injected so often in opinion pieces. Not just liberals, any Joe who’s spent more than 15 minutes rummaging through any issue feels the mojo of cosmic arrogance take over. It’s our condition, it’s what happens to us. I apologise in advance.


Perhaps remnants from the 80’s & 90’s, when shoulder pads and can do Carnegie strategists allowed us to believe that confidence was all it took, disillusional parenting could get a high five round about now too. I don’t know for sure, but armchair stratagem stinks of it.


I’ll end with this, as a comic I have to keep an eye on the political sphere, it’s what we do and we’re afforded such wonderful (and possibly short lived) liberties under our constitution, to speak our minds and confront. Freedom of speech is our plaything, not to mention an awesome vehicle for some dick waving, not that I have a big one, but it has the hair of a big one, which I think should count for something.

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May 21, 2013 Early Tilt