I’ve been thinking about writing a series for some time, linked thematically, something both interesting and entertaining. An illustrated history of something or other, perhaps a pop up book exploring ‘the medical implications of sodomy’ or ‘a rant comics guide to fuck you’,not sure, but I wanted something a little heady and applicable.
My life is a strange melange of creativity(attempted and significant), failure to grasp reality and too much coffee. Every now and then it’s important to document one’s process, even if it’s a downward spiral of self buggering and intellectual vandalism.
A few mornings back I found myself walking the KFC drive through that’s very near my studio. A strange thing to stand their idly between idling cars, 5am and sober, amidst a sea of drunk hunger.
Very often I get to make conversation with what has to be the dumbest remnant of unevolved alcoholism and general shit stains for human beings. Sometimes I get a good one, but often I’m left disappointed, standing their as some over liquored grey scale cock ring fucks the art of conversation into obscurity.
The problem with dealing with fucked people while sober is that everything is magnified, these slurring walking aversions to meaning are in fact far better versions of myself when I’m pissed, but that’s the joy of being a self righteous prick- you don’t bother much with comparisons.
It occurred to me, after a recent, particularly harrowing morning of tedious interplay, that we might have some of the most boring people that history has seen. I have no evidence to support this, but I did speak with a heinous hybrid devolved toxic excuse for a bipedal simian and realized, that over all, stupid might just be winning the war.
I started looking at myself critically, perhaps out of fear for resembling the bastard from the drive through queue, and felt immense irritation at how little I know about things. Normal, cool, every day things.
I think I’m in danger of becoming boring. This isn’t acceptable.
So I’m embarking on a journey of some or other kind. Finding out things, that’s the key, a little more systematically than I have been perhaps. Not too systematically of course, I’m not a fucking auditor, but kind of systematically. That’s where the need for a thematic trend comes in, I’ve decided that ideological clarity will be my first stab at a theme.
This will entail looking at the political spectrum, the left, right, liberal, conservative continuum, weighing the isms and wondering where I fit in.
I’m doing this because I don’t ever want to be ‘that guy’ and because of the innate value of learning and blah blah, but it’s mostly about my ego, showing off at diner parties and being smarter than that boring Neanderthal poes I got trapped into talking to.
Fuck he was stupid.
Not mentally challenged stupid.
A wilful kind of jock inspired Southern republican meets Ventersdorp badly raised uncle/cousin/brother left in the sun for too long as a kid stupid. A product of intentional intellectual neglect, protruding like a cyst from the underbelly of civilisation’s too late embrace of abortion and euthanasia.
I’m not angry, I’m worried.
Enjoy your fucking day.
Editors Note: The opinions of our writers are, exactly ours, we agree 100% with everything they have to say.
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