Tilt Republic. Johannesburg. New York. Cape Town. London.

Anarchy’s principle objections are that it promotes violence and is impractical. I can’t think of a better description for our current democracy. Prolific police brutality and MP’s pissing our money against over priced walls, money meant to swallow our economic divide, money meant for feeding & educating the poor’s children. Money, money, money. A tedious argument on repeat, all the while these same fat fuck agents of unchange sodomise long dead revolutionary aphorisms. In the words of a top shelf surrealist, they’re a bunch of ‘cock-hole fuckers’, true that methinks. What’s needed is a buggeringly broad chunk of solidarity, the notion that people are meant to be feared by their governments needs thinking about. Yet the cronies parade shamelessly, we are in trouble, my friends, and I want to talk shop. I serve the Cape comedy underground, a pent up collective, outspoken, skilled and in receipt of considerable sway. Let’s fuck something, someone deserving, up.

 

that's us

that’s us

But I want an all in affair, I want a cross referenced creative onslaught, this is where you come in. Tell me how.

 

Ever hear of culture jamming? It’s a wholly art driven affair, some knit beanies for bus stops, plant gardens without official permission, still others manipulate mass media messages and inject thought provoking works of art into our daily lives. Sure some throw bricks, but let’s not jump the gun. The little messages that agitate, what you think of them? Is it in these little messages of agitation that a whole forms, do they eventually smelt together to forge substance?

 

Many of us write comedy like this, we take stabs at the fuck stained contributions of those who actively pursue power. Cue corruption, cue the business pigs masquerading as public servants, I’ve seen it met aggressively. The resources our politicos have been entrusted with have a primary purpose, the poor. Everything else, including the refurbishment of first world embassies, luxury vehicles, 208 million Rand security upgrades to harem pens and mobile company funded perks for boyfriends come a very distant ‘shouldn’t exist’.

 

Poverty, that toxic thief of meaning, needs to be seen as the next level nemesis it is. I’m not talking about not having things, or even property, I’m talking about being hungry and sick and cold. When these feature, progression is the nearest to fucked it could be, no human being could realise a beautiful life under these circumstances.

 

I’ve been cold, hungry and sick, I remember how far touching sides with meaning was, no literary aesthetic, creative ambition, nothing. Not until the pain went away.

 

That’s why, in an elective democracy, I find it bizarre that we would put these spendthrift pigs in charge of the coffers.

 

Perhaps the solution is tangible outcry, 250 000 people marching on the houses of parliament, insisting on a better calibre of leadership. Simple demands. Those in charge of public amenities should use public amenities. I want our MP’s to use public transport, public health services, live in RDP houses and live on modest budgets.

 

"greedy business pigs pretending to be politicos"

“greedy business pigs pretending to be politicos”

Is it really such an extravagant request? That our beautiful country produce beautiful leaders?

 

What’s the deal here, what’s next? What do we do?

March 29, 2013 Early Tilt By: Christopher Steenkamp

Hi Pierce, hope I can call you by your first name, you’re a bit posh after all. I’m also aware that’s not how you spell youre name, but I thought you should give it a go, it has more ummpfh that way.

 

I know things aren’t going so well at the moment between you and my country (South Africa) and I just wanted to say that I don’t hate you. Not that I wouldn’t swear at you on twitter, but that’s different, everyone knows the internet doesn’t count. I’ve just spent the better half of the day reading hate tweets pointed at you and I just wanted to see if you did anything other that say South Africa should have less guns? It sounds like you did something terrible.

 

Here are some tweets I found to you. (in case you missed it)

 

@piersmorganI am sick with shock to this absolute cunt’s remarks about something he doesn’t have any authority to comment on

 

@piersmorgan has proved he is a 1st rate arsehole!Now I hope he rots in hell!

 

I think this next one in particularly harsh.

 

Don’t forget to mention that English people come over here and hire people to kill!@piersmorgan

 

I know you’re fairly new to America, how did you organize a greencard, you lucky fish. Anyway, the problem seems to be about redneck transcendence. It’s a theory I’ve been working on all afternoon with my mate Dustin.

 

See, we started by theoretically tracking two related primordial globules of single cell muck that shacked up. It appears that they were two organisms in a single cell (see illustration) and not in fact single cell organisms. A little embarrassing for established science I know, but we cracked the code while drinking coffee today. The only thing dumber than a single cell organism, is an inbred single cell organism. You should see the ramifications down here, just like your work country has a deep South problem, we have a deep North problem.

 

Even though I don’t really watch your show or like the network you’re involved in, your clothing, country, opinions, hairstyle, length to body weight ratio or obsession with a gun free planet, I still count myself a fan of sorts.

 

This is the reason I’m going to give you advice. See Pierce, people would shoot each other less if we had less guns in the country. I don’t fault you on that, that’s exactly what would happen. But that’s why we buy ourselves guns, to shoot people. So, the problem is more about getting people to stop shooting each other. This, of course, can be ebbed by bad behaviour. Your tiff with my country all started with your unacceptable behaviour. Who are you to tweet, and I quote “Yes, wonderful country, but big gun crime problem “. Excuse my French Pierce, but who the flip do you think you are? You’re clearly trying to make a mockery out of us.

 

So, my advice to you, is to not ever say anything about any country you haven’t contracted a disease in. That’s my bar of acceptance and I know you’ll do your utmost to comply. So, I look forward to not hearing from you or seeing you at the local pub, chatting up gun toting hotties (don’t forget to leave the rubbers at home).

 

Peace out Pierce

Christopher Steenkamp

PS I just found out you’re actually still British but work in America, commuting that far must be kak. Do you use one of those doughnut cushions? My uncle does, he has a small problem with his anus. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll discuss it over a beer soon.

February 15, 2013 Early Tilt By: Christopher Steenkamp